Always In The Middle

 I woke up this morning to the sound of my smoke alarm chirping, reminding me I needed to replace the batteries.  I must be a deep sleeper because I don't remember that happening last night.  I walked around the house half awake for less than twenty seconds, realizing that everyone is still asleep. It's Saturday morning.  YES.  I mean, for me it doesn't mean much considering that I'm not attending school, nor working full time.  However, I do not enjoy waking up to an empty house...which happens daily during the week (school, work, errands, etc.).  I guess I've always been surrounded by someone growing up...family, mission companions.  Time has been going awfully slow these last few weeks back home.  Maybe there is something about someones presence, or the conversation that makes life faster.  For as slow as time has passed in these last couple weeks, my plans are moving rather quickly.  (That was an understatement).  I love what Dieter F. Uchtdorf said: Endings are times for winding down and may involve feelings of completion or loss. But with the proper outlook, considering ourselves as in the middle of things can help us not only to understand life a little better but also to live it a little more meaningfully.  I don't know if I fully understood this until now, but it's so true! I definitely feel completed and feel that loss after coming home less than a month ago from Argentina.  There are still times when I catch myself remembering all the amazing things I experienced in the mission, speaking Spanish or listening to Latin music.  It was a great two years. Anyways, the point is that at sometime, somewhere we will all feel completed, finished or relaxed.  With that in mind, I definitely always want to be productive and "doing something".  For about a week now, I have been engaged to the most wonderful lady, Melissa, and it has been the best thing ever.  I feel so confident and sure about this, that it makes me happy knowing I was able to make the right decision.  I still remember the look on her face when she saw me in Flying M without notice, seconds before the proposal.  I am so excited to marry her.  I guess everyone expected it, which is totally normal seeing that we have known each other for four years (right dear?).  I especially enjoyed the response from old companions still in the mission field after two weeks of being home, writing them to tell them about the wonderful news.  The jokes of getting married quickly after the mission have always been funny, and still are.  I guess missionaries, due to their circumstances, are easy to make fun of.  It's true.  Some might be surprised by the quickness my engagement, but after reading what Uchtdorf said, even I began to understand why it is so important that we consider ourselves in the middle of things. Life is definitely not a race nor a competition.  I understand that the circumstances we are in, if we are being obedient, are the circumstances that our Heavenly Father wants for all of us.  Like I've said, I have been feeling very blessed lately.  The mission has brought me more blessings than I even deserve.  December 28th will be a good day to say the least. I am enjoying the life of an engaged man, however, I hope that the time between now and then will go faster than usual.

Last But Not Least

I guess I have been a little more attatched to things than most people. I'm not talking about things like, video games or worldy items...(and I'm not a pack rat either. Ug). I guess even simple things like a laundry hamper that you use your whole life seems like part of you. I used everything in here for quite some time. It has a face and a personality. They way the mirror is nailed to the wall always telling me how good I look or (more often) don't look. The way my bed has always been so inviting. The way the light stretches in between the blinds every morning stretching across the orange floor and up onto the wood cabinents. 'Toy Story'-ish. I know these things don't have lives, and I know they don't get out and dance and play when I leave. But I know how they would act if they did. Child-ish...I know. Reailty is cool place, but I wouldn't want to live there (all the time).

But something happens when you take everything down. It's like you took a vaccum and sucked the life out of that room. Naked white walls and clean spotless carpet is like an old bike that just doesn't fit anymore. Sure, you learned to ride on it for the first time, but things change and even though it was the perfect color, it's time to go. So I guess almost two years ago this room was shared. Two boys who fifty percent of the time fought, and fifty percent of the time tackled and laughed and shoved. I guess one was more into the realistic side of things, while the other was constantly laughing and finding new ways to create 'mayhem'. And then he leaves. The room is yours and you feel like a king. There's a single bed and much more space. I guess it was cool for a little while, but I missed him sometimes.

The walls are still a little patchy from nails and what not. Stapled posters of Drum Corps International and photos of friends and families. Taking it down can be a little hollow. I mean...there is nothing there to remind you. I suppose the whole point in putting those things up in the first place could be divided into two reasons.

1. The wall was blank and needed something to dress it.
2. For a reminder. To remind of good times and remind you of what you liked and I guess what your family looked like....if you forgot. If you forgot what your family looks like...well, I don't really have any advice. Except go see a counselor. I could reccomend a great one.

Other things I can't really fit in my luggage let alone use. So I suppose it's going to get two years older with no birthdays and sit in the corner.

Packing for two years is overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond excited to serve for two years in a country where people have nothing and are happy. So I guess putting everything I will need when I get back (minus clothes) in a 22 gallon tote makes me a feel like I'm doing a little better at not consuming too much stuff and becoming less of a pack rat. It's sad leaving everything I have known. It's more exciting to learn everything and arrive to something I don't know. It's a little fascintating going to a place where I'm not fluent with the language, familiar with the money or know of the customs. I'm going to miss Idaho. I'm going to miss my room. I'm going to miss my siblings. I'm going to miss my best friend. I'm going to miss homemade meals. I'm going to miss a lot... but one thing is for. I wouldn't trade this oppurtunity for the world.

I guess this is my last blog post for a while. Thanks for reading. I know not everyone reads this or even has the time to, but if you do, Thank You.



"Now Woody, he's been my pal for as long as I can remember. He's brave, like a cowboy should be. And kind and smart. But the thing that makes Woody special, is he'll never give up on you...ever. He'll be there for you, no matter what." - Andy

Truth Be Told

A lot of people have been asking me questions lately. Which is fine. I am a pretty social guy I suppose. In high school I felt like I was pretty outgoing and maybe even very social. I felt the need to be unique and 'different'. As soon as I graduated from high school, I also graduated from those feelings. I guess I don't really enjoy attention but I do like people to know my accomplishments. But being put on the spotlight for them makes me uneasy. I can ace a job interview and shake hands and look at people in the eyes. I also deal with cranky customers pretty well too. I'm not shy...I just don't seek attention like I used too. Like I was saying, a lot of people have been asking me questions. Questions that make me go...'really?'.
Let me set one thing straight. Going on a mission is something I have wanted to do my entire life, and outside of marriage, it might be one of the best things I can do for myself and the Lord. So when people say...
"What's the last restaurant you will eat at before you go?" or
"What's the last movie you are going to see before you go?" or phrase question like that, I squirm. Going on a mission will be far more exciting than any movie and restaurant I will ever attend. I am making these sacrifices because I want to serve...not because I'm being dragged into this by my parents. I guess I'm not attached to those like I am to family and friends. Trust me. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't believe that what I was doing and what I was preaching is right and true. I guess those kind of question throw me off because I am not looking forward to the parties and movies that go with 'pre-mission' activities. Rather, I'm looking forward to getting out in the mission field; teaching people who don't have the recourses to go out to restaurants for fun. People who don't have the luxury of seeing movies, let alone 'one last one'.

So when someone asks me "Jay, what will be the last movie you will rent before you leave?", I guess my answer is this. I could probably care less. I know this is an exciting time for me, but what is more exciting is that I get to spend two years serving the Lord! Yes! I don't want this to sound like something I am being dragged into. For what I have been blessed with, two years is nothing. I'm excited to go to Argentina. I'm not anti-movie or anti-restaurant. If you want to go see a movie or go out the eat with me sometime, let go! Sounds fun. I just would rather not think less about what I can't do and more about what I will be able to do.

I'm excited.

Lyrics I Wish I Wrote

Breathe and I'll carry you away into the velvet sky
And we'll stir the stars around
And watch them fall away into the Hudson Bay
And plummet out of sight and sound

The open summer breeze will sweep you through the hills
Where I live in the alpine heights
Below the Northern Lights, I spend my coldest nights
Alone, awake and thinking of the weekend we were in love

Home among these mountain tops can be so awfully dull
A thousand miles from the tide
But photos on the walls of New York shopping malls
Distract me so I stay inside

I wish the rockets stayed over the promenade
'Cause I would make a hook and eye
And fish them from the sky, my darling, she and I
We're hanging on so take us high to sing the world goodbye

I am floating away, lost in a silent ballet
I'm dreaming you're out in the blue and I am right beside you
Awake to take in the view
Late nights and early parades, still photos and noisy arcades
My darling, we're both on the wing
Look down and keep on singing and we can go anywhere
-Adam Young

Maybe Amazing Things Will Happen

Maybe it's her daughters birthday. Maybe these blueprints belong to an amazing new building. Maybe she is getting a divorce. Maybe he is copying a resume. Maybe she is frustrated with her insurance company. Maybe they are ordering wedding announcements. Maybe his flash drive has files I would rather not open. Maybe he lost his house. Maybe this book is worth more than the copy machine. Maybe they have a mailbox here just for social interaction. Maybe they don't like the social interaction. Maybe they won't make any money off this. Maybe they will make a lot. Maybe they are from out of town. Maybe they thought that this color copy would be a lot cheaper.


Beyond these papers, boxes, flash drives, faxes, documents and e-mails, I cannot help but wonder where these people are from and who they are. How did they get this picture, why do they need a copy or what is in this box? How did they end up with this many receipts and why do they need a copy of every single one?
If you have been working in copy centers at least as long as I have, you will know that strange and even some off color stuff can pop up in boxes, flash drives and even regular copies. Making a normal copy is just as exciting as making one on Monday morning as it is on Friday Evening. The box is just as heavy weather you ship USPS or FedEx. Not everyone is the same...sometimes, you can tell a lot about a person by the fax you send or the blueprint you make. I hate charging someone for sending resumes. No one sends resumes because they like too. Plus, resume paper is the most spendy...(non-coated, text-weight) paper there is. Ugh. The copy world is a very promotional business. "Our business helps your business" sorta thing. So I see a lot of ugly looking promotions. (Not what we design! Always customer original artwork). But when I see ugly promotions or flyers I long to sit with the customer and say...

'Well Bill, it looks like you gotta a great promotion going on here. But the Impact font and the default clip art (that every one has) is going to be a flyer that ends up in the trash.'

But before that happens, Bill says this.

I would like 2,000 (very ugly) color copies of this flyer.
In which case I frantically and most excitingly say:

"No problem!!! When would you like them and I will make that happen!"

I treat him like a king, and his wish is my command.

My plans are normal. I don't plan to work with copies forever. One day I will go to college, fall in love, get married and start a family. Have talented kids, go to work. Come home and have dinner. Grow old, play scrabble with my wife. Invite the grandkids over. Of course, this is ideal. And I'm not the one too decide exactly how everything happens in my life.

Maybe she really does not want to make these copies. Maybe she didn't want any of this to happen but the court needs the paperwork anyways. Maybe this is a sad copy. Maybe this package he is sending is cute and romantic. Maybe it contains love notes and sorts of gushy stuff. Maybe this is a happy package. And then the customer pays and leaves. And thats that. A small little social interaction and he leaves. And then I get home and take of the blue polo and look in the mirror. Not in really a sad way, but more thoughtful... more pensive. Maybe he had a great day at work. Maybe work was more stressful and busy than he wanted it to be. Maybe his legs still hurt from running that same morning. Maybe he forgot to call a customer about their completed
order.

However.
Maybe he loved his job. Maybe he loved where he worked. Maybe he thinks his co-workers are hilarious. Maybe he will know that this was a tough job to leave. Maybe, now, he will have way more blue polos than he will ever need. Maybe it was the best job he has ever had so far. Maybe he was starting to get used to the nick name "Jay - Rizzie". Maybe he is so thankful that he had such a perfect job for him right before he left for a different country.

Weather you hate your job, love it, are looking for one, just quit one, just got fired from one, or started your own job, one thing is for sure. Work hard.

A quote by Conan 'O Brien appropriately comes to mind:

"If you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

How Children Fail

I am on here not knowing what to type, only knowing that I promised to blog whilst I was eating my dinner. Speaking of dinner, holy cow. I don't know what it was but it was from heaven. Something like steaming italian sausage, with whole wheat penne, fresh parmesan cheese and a handful full of vegetables and herbs straight from our garden. Seriously. So friends, it's less than one month. I'm sure you are sick of hearing about my mission by now. For the sake of you, I will not blog about it in this entry anymore. But I mind you...less than one month. (!) New topic.

This the latest design. By no means am I a graphic designer...but I sure enjoy it. Every once and a while I will attempt to do some "designing" and just have fun. I have always been fascinated with this. This in one in particular was for my lovely aunt Silvia Hope, and her upcoming cake business. She is great at it too! Take a look at some of her work.

Like I was saying, I have always been fascinated by how manipulative design can be. Maybe it is because design, has always been manipulative to ME. I will stop and look at anything with good design and drool. Gross. But seriously, I once read a statement in an interview I read that I completely agreed with. It went..err...something like this. 'I believe that people buy into art. If the packaging is good enough, people will buy it.' So true.


One time, while being super nerdy and awaiting the release of a fictional teen's novel at Barnes and Nobles at midnight, me and my best friend found something marvelous. A tin can of herbal mint tea. It was so cool looking! And for some reason, I felt like buying. The tea probably would have been just as great as the kind you can find at your local grocer. That could be a problem. However, I would consider myself a pretty frugal guy. So....no worries. Other things I like?

Wine.
I love drinking wine. Gotcha! K, No seriously, wine bottles are beautiful. I don't drink wine, but it sure looks great! And trust me, the packaging will never convince me to purchase any. Just a sample. Ooooo.

Coffee...stuff.
I love drinking coffee. Gotcha...again. I don't drink coffee either...but everything about the packaging on coffee looks so comfy and fresh. I mean, even this silly napkin.

Book Covers.
I love drinking book covers. Sorry, I had to. Some book covers, ok, most book covers are hideous. But some are fantastic! Everything on this page is soo nice. I would own every one of those if I could. Mmmmmmmm. Definitely judging a book by it's cover. I especially enjoy 'How Children Fail' and 'Wildlife in Britain'. Maybe you can find them. Hahaha.

Tasty.

1, 24, 11, 60 and 2

1 month until I leave for my mission.
Crazy. I knew time would go by this fast so thankfully I was prepared for that. For those who know me well, I hate packing. It has long been a pet peeve of mine, and one that I'm not sure if I can overcome. I don't think there is therapy for something like this. Maybe two years of packing and unpacking will teach me a lesson; either how to pack better, or not to worry about packing. I don't mind packing itself, as much as I hate the notion in my head that I could be forgetting something. It all boils down to me not making sure I'm prepared for everything, because I hate feeling unprepared.

24 hours.

Nothing is happening in 24 hours. Well, the Boise State game will be starting, but that's not what I'm talking about. I recently finished How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing with Toxic and Difficult to Love Personalites. Sounds like a text book to me. It was actually a fantastic read. I really felt like I did'nt need to read the book personally because I feel like I can handle 'toxic' people pretty well. Hahaha, I was wrong. It's more than dealing with them. It's about becoming your most healthy and best self. It also teaches very much about critisicm. Dr. Lund helps you realize so many things, and even though I was just reading for leisure, it was still great! So, 24 hours. Near the end of the book, the author challenges you to go 24 hours without critisizing anyone...or yourself! Sounds impossible. He reassures you it is not. It is extremely difficult but easier some days than others. It's especially challenging at work, where I deal with some interesting customers everyday. 24 hours is hard, but I'm working on it.

11 shirts I am taking on my mission.
This does not include 'P-day' shirts. This does include short sleeved and long sleeved. Now why would you care about how many shirts I am taking. You probably still won't after this, but it still gives me something to write about. Whoever decided it would be a great idea to stick 20 or so pins and all sorts of plastic and cardboard into a new white shirt is made me frustrated last night. For guys who have bought new white dress shirts in packaging know; it can be frustrating to take these things apart. I'm not sure why it's necessary or if it's just for fun or what. I spent a good amount of time taking them all apart. But it's over now. Sweet.

60 dollars.
I can honestly say I spent 60 dollars on hygiene...and Melissa can attest to this. I didn't even buy anything special, just the basics. Toothpaste, shampoo, band-aids. Maybe this is crazy to me because I'm not used to buying those sorts of thing for myself, or enough to last me three months. For some of you that might be normal. Is it? You tell me. Anyways, sixty was the total. At least I will smell good for a while. Oh, and it also made me happy that in the Missionary Handbook, it outlines... "Bathe daily.". I'm so glad it mentions this! I know a few who don't believe that this is really necessary. Thank goodness for inspired leaders. Ha!

2 weeks left or work.

I honestly will miss my job. I am so blessed to have it. It is a great work environment, great pay, great hours, and it still gives me time on weekends and weeknights to do what I still love. Most of all, my work is satisfying. I come home and am excited what I accomplished. My co-workers are so funny, and my boss had a great work ethic. It is a really tough job to leave given the opportunity. I'm not one to brag...but my job is awesome. I am so blessed to have this right before I leave. Thank you to Copies Plus.